ive realized that just cause i get lonely in germany that doesnt mean that my experience was bad it just means i got lonely and depressed, everyone gets like that sometimes, maybe me more than others and considering its new years but still.
-Sossina
Thursday, December 31, 2009
so its...
So I'm seeking safeness in this blog thing yes thats weird so what. Well today is new years and I'm spending it alone its 3:17am in the morning here. I was waiting for my parents to go on skype and my boyfriend and for some unexplainable reason I was denied both of them. The only time my host family and i spent together was watching a bit of TV cheering at 12am and then lighting off some fire works and watching the ones going off in town. Before that over half my host siblings disappeared to parties and friends houses, so then there was just me my younger host sister and my host parents and they were tired and she didn't really wanna hang out. you know so here i am spending time writing this for my chapel cause I'm lonely. Tonight i watched " My Sisters Keeper" its a really sad movie but it was done well, i loved it i was choked up through the whole thing. You know i don't want to be mad at my parents for not being on or my bf either they have lives to i mean after all i am a whole ocean away so i guess sometimes they just forget or something, idk. tonight was just the one night more then any other that i didn't wanna be alone, it makes me sad, You know the dumb thing is you'd think I'd go some place real because I'm sad but nope I'm here I feel that god listens to what i write on here for me my chapel really exists it may be more visual then real but still its were I turn. I have no where else to go. So maybe this whole thing is just me talking to god because i don't have anyone else right now, i just wanted someone to count on. What makes me most sad is sure i can stay online all night and chat with friends and write here but thats not hearing a person i know 's voice or seeing their face on skype, the feeling is all wrong, all different. This chapel is special to me, sure i have invited other friends and family but I'm the only one that write here, the only one that posts here, this chapel exists purely for me, I'm the one that enjoys it, takes time to enjoy it, it means the world to me. So I guess for tonight im just talkin to god theres nothing wrong with it and it helps when your lonely I can visualize his arms around me and feel his embrace and thats enough to relive a bit of the sadness. Im so glad I made this blog even though im the only one that reads it and writes it theres gonna be times when i just need a place to escape with my thoughts and ill come here ill pray and talk to god and think. This will be one of my sanctuaries, my online diary, its just for me now.
-Sossina
-Sossina
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Somthing I just have to write
im one of those kids that is so proud to say oh my parents trust me yadda yadda yadda, but their gets to be a point where i question that.
They gush thank goodness you make the right choices, but theres a point where i question are making good choices always worth it in the end. So bad i wanna say yes, yes its always worth it, but is it really.
What do we get in return, satisfaction oh excellent, theres no personal gain, making the right desicions doesn't make you more trust worthy? responsible? reliable? so then what does it make you, the class dirt, someones personal live target, a foot mat?
We would love to think that making the right choices over the wrong ones or saying nothing is worth it, but i ask you is it?
They gush thank goodness you make the right choices, but theres a point where i question are making good choices always worth it in the end. So bad i wanna say yes, yes its always worth it, but is it really.
What do we get in return, satisfaction oh excellent, theres no personal gain, making the right desicions doesn't make you more trust worthy? responsible? reliable? so then what does it make you, the class dirt, someones personal live target, a foot mat?
We would love to think that making the right choices over the wrong ones or saying nothing is worth it, but i ask you is it?
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Unconditional and Unforgettable Love
When I'm sad I always remember that god loves me, unconditionally for what I am.
When I'm bad I always remember that god still loves me, but may be frowning.
When I'm happy I always remember that god is next to me enjoying my light.
When I'm lonley I always remember that god is present, so why feel lonely when someone's always here.
When I'm broken I always remember that god can fix the unfixable. so I keep hope.
When I'm ready to leave I always remember that god will welcome me with wide open arms no matter what.
-Sossina
When I'm bad I always remember that god still loves me, but may be frowning.
When I'm happy I always remember that god is next to me enjoying my light.
When I'm lonley I always remember that god is present, so why feel lonely when someone's always here.
When I'm broken I always remember that god can fix the unfixable. so I keep hope.
When I'm ready to leave I always remember that god will welcome me with wide open arms no matter what.
-Sossina
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas
Merry Christmas to all this is my first Christmas outside of the U.S. best wishes to all.
-Sossina
-Sossina
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Quote to Consider
" you might find it, learn it, see it, but if you don't accept it, you haven't really found it."
-Sossina
That quote i wrote.
-Sossina
That quote i wrote.
A Prayer I Wrote
Originally this prayer was written as a poem, but technically its a prayer feel free to pray it also, i do every night.
A Prayer
From the rising of a son,
to the setting of a sea,
Dear Lord please help me.
From the budding of a flower,
to the dying of a tree,
Dear Lord please bless me.
From the north to the south,
to the east and west,
May I be blessed.
From a poets song,
to a nuns prayer,
I know your love isnt rare.
From my saving grace,
to my darkest hour,
Please help me find my power.
In your name I pray,
I must go on my way,
Please stay.
-Sossina
P.S. I really did write that lol
A Prayer
From the rising of a son,
to the setting of a sea,
Dear Lord please help me.
From the budding of a flower,
to the dying of a tree,
Dear Lord please bless me.
From the north to the south,
to the east and west,
May I be blessed.
From a poets song,
to a nuns prayer,
I know your love isnt rare.
From my saving grace,
to my darkest hour,
Please help me find my power.
In your name I pray,
I must go on my way,
Please stay.
-Sossina
P.S. I really did write that lol
Here are the links..
These are links to places where you can light virtual candles. Mine usually say SC and then US, or are signed so. My topics are For everyone and Family :) Enjoy I loved lighting my candles they mean alot.
http://thecenterforhealingarts.com/light-a-candle/candles.php#top
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng
http://monasterycandleshop.com/vcandle/vcandle.asp?seta=41&setb=60&Exit=Finished
the last link is the best, you can actually choose which chapel to light a candle in and it stays lit for 10 days. My candles are lit in the Mary Chapel.
-Sossina
http://thecenterforhealingarts.com/light-a-candle/candles.php#top
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng
http://monasterycandleshop.com/vcandle/vcandle.asp?seta=41&setb=60&Exit=Finished
the last link is the best, you can actually choose which chapel to light a candle in and it stays lit for 10 days. My candles are lit in the Mary Chapel.
-Sossina
A Place for Prayer and Thoughts
This is my new, private blog, for friends and members from church. Welcome, I decided to start this blog after searching for virtual candles this evening, I successfully found 3 excellent sites and have lit a total of 4 candles, I'll post links after i finish talking.
I'm still in Germany and even though until recently I hadn't been attending church I have found myself stronger than ever in my faith. While staying here I have really relied on my faith and God being here for me. It's been a long journey and I'll be happy to return home.
This blog is a sanctuary for prayer and thoughts, if i could figure out how to add virtual candles here, I would but I can't so I won't. Unlike my other blogs this one will be updated at least once a week if not more.
This year I unfortunately won't be home for Christmas, which saddens me a bit, but here I shall post.
I have alot of different ideas that revolve around faith and even have written some awesome quotes and prayers which I'll share in time here.
I sincerely hope that this blog can become a place of serenity for everyone, where we can share ideas, pray, and not be afraid to say whats on our minds.
hugs to all,
Sossina
I'm still in Germany and even though until recently I hadn't been attending church I have found myself stronger than ever in my faith. While staying here I have really relied on my faith and God being here for me. It's been a long journey and I'll be happy to return home.
This blog is a sanctuary for prayer and thoughts, if i could figure out how to add virtual candles here, I would but I can't so I won't. Unlike my other blogs this one will be updated at least once a week if not more.
This year I unfortunately won't be home for Christmas, which saddens me a bit, but here I shall post.
I have alot of different ideas that revolve around faith and even have written some awesome quotes and prayers which I'll share in time here.
I sincerely hope that this blog can become a place of serenity for everyone, where we can share ideas, pray, and not be afraid to say whats on our minds.
hugs to all,
Sossina
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